Love Like a Greek: The Six Types of Love / The Six Types of Love: How to Love Like a Greek
Ktimatoemporiki Real Estate - 2022-01-26
Love Like a Greek: The Six Types of Love / The Six Types of Love: How to Love Like a Greek
What exactly is love?
There can't possibly be a single response to this issue, which is why the Ancient Greeks had six different words for love.
Knowing them can make a huge difference in your life.
Looking for an antidote to the emphasis on romantic love in modern culture?
Perhaps we can learn from the ancient Greeks' various forms of emotional commitment.
The lexicon of today's coffee culture is extremely advanced.
Would you like a cappuccino, espresso, skinny latte, or iced caramel macchiato, please?
The ancient Greeks were equally as sophisticated when it came to discussing love, recognizing six distinct types.
They would have been astounded by our crudeness in whispering "I love you" over a candlelight lunch and casually signing an email with "much of love."
Six types of love according to Ancient Greeks
1. Eros, or sexual passion
Eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, was the earliest type of love, and it signified sexual passion and desire.
However, the Greeks did not necessarily regard it as a positive aspect, as we do now.
In fact, eros was regarded as a dangerous, fiery, and irrational sort of love that might seize and possess you, a viewpoint shared by many subsequent spiritual thinkers, including Christian author C.S. Lewis.
The Greeks were terrified of Eros because it involved a loss of control.
Which is strange, considering many individuals nowadays crave control in their relationships.
Isn't it true that we all want to fall "madly" in love?
2. Philia, or deep friendship
Philia, or friendship, was the second type of love, which the Greeks regarded far more than the base sexuality of eros.
Philia was about a close comradely connection that grew between brothers in arms who had fought alongside one another on the battlefield.
It was all about being loyal to your friends, making sacrifices for them, and sharing your feelings with them.
(Another type of philia, known as storge, represented the love between parents and children.)
We can all reflect on how much comradely philia we have in our lives.
It's an important question in an age when we try to gather "friends" on Facebook or "following" on Twitter—achievements that would have impressed the Greeks hardly at all.
3. Ludus, or playful love
The Greeks coined the term "playful love" to describe the affection shared by children or young lovers.
We've all gotten a taste of it in the early stages of a relationship when it comes to flirting and teasing.
However, we can also express our ludus by sitting in a bar with friends and bantering and joking, or by going out dancing.
Dancing with strangers could be the pinnacle of ludic entertainment, a lighthearted substitute for sex.
Adult frivolity may be frowned upon by social norms, yet a bit more ludus can be precisely what we need to spice up our love life.
4. Agape, or love for everyone
Agape, or selfless love, was the fourth and possibly most radical love.
This was a love that you showed to everyone, whether they were family members or strangers.
Later, agape was translated into Latin as caritas, which is where the term "charity" comes from.
"Gift love," as C.S. Lewis put it, is the highest kind of Christian love.
It also exists in various religious traditions, such as Theravda Buddhism's mett, or "universal loving compassion."
In many countries, there is mounting evidence that agape is on the decline.
Empathy levels in the United States have plummeted during the last 40 years, with the most dramatic drop coming in the last decade.
We urgently need to revive our capacity to care about strangers.
5. Pragma, or longstanding love
Another type of Greek love was pragma, or mature love.
This was the profound understanding that long-married couples established.
Pragma was about making compromises and displaying patience and tolerance in order to help the partnership work over time.
We spend too much energy "falling in love," according to psychiatrist Erich Fromm, and need to learn more about how to "stand in love."
Pragma is all about standing in love, about trying to offer love rather than merely receiving it.
With over a third of first marriages in the United States ending in divorce or separation within the first ten years, the Greeks would certainly think we should inject some pragma into our relationships.
6. Philautia, or love of the self
Philautia, or self-love, was the Greeks' sixth type of love.
And the astute Greeks recognized two distinct types.
One was a type of narcissism that was pathological, in which you become self-absorbed and obsessed with personal fame and money.
Your greater capacity to love was strengthened by a healthier version.
The idea was that if you enjoy yourself and are confident in yourself, you will have plenty of love to give to others (as the Buddhist concept of "self-compassion" suggests).
"All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man's feelings for himself," Aristotle said.
Friends, relatives, spouses, strangers, and even themselves were all sources of love for the ancient Greeks.
This is in contrast to our traditional concentration on a single romantic connection, in which we seek to find all of our various loves wrapped up in a single person or soul mate.
The Greeks' teaching is to cultivate the different forms of love and to tap into its diverse sources.
Not only should you seek eros, but you should also grow philia by spending more time with old friends and developing ludus by dancing the night away.
Furthermore, we must let go of our fixation with perfection.
Expect your partner to not provide you with all of the different types of love all of the time (with the danger that you may toss aside a partner who fails to live up to your desires).
Recognize that a relationship may begin with a lot of eros and ludus, then shift to more pragma or agape as time goes on.
The complex Greek love system can often be comforting.
Even if you don't have a physical partner, mapping out the amount to which all six loves are present in your life may reveal that you have a lot more love than you ever anticipated.
It's past time we included the six types of Greek love into our everyday language and thought.
Why not the art of love, if the art of coffee deserves its own nuanced vocabulary?
What exactly is love?
There can't possibly be a single response to this issue, which is why the Ancient Greeks had six different words for love.
Knowing them can make a huge difference in your life.
Looking for an antidote to the emphasis on romantic love in modern culture?
Perhaps we can learn from the ancient Greeks' various forms of emotional commitment.
The lexicon of today's coffee culture is extremely advanced.
Would you like a cappuccino, espresso, skinny latte, or iced caramel macchiato, please?
The ancient Greeks were equally as sophisticated when it came to discussing love, recognizing six distinct types.
They would have been astounded by our crudeness in whispering "I love you" over a candlelight lunch and casually signing an email with "much of love."
Six types of love according to Ancient Greeks
1. Eros, or sexual passion
Eros, named after the Greek god of fertility, was the earliest type of love, and it signified sexual passion and desire.
However, the Greeks did not necessarily regard it as a positive aspect, as we do now.
In fact, eros was regarded as a dangerous, fiery, and irrational sort of love that might seize and possess you, a viewpoint shared by many subsequent spiritual thinkers, including Christian author C.S. Lewis.
The Greeks were terrified of Eros because it involved a loss of control.
Which is strange, considering many individuals nowadays crave control in their relationships.
Isn't it true that we all want to fall "madly" in love?
2. Philia, or deep friendship
Philia, or friendship, was the second type of love, which the Greeks regarded far more than the base sexuality of eros.
Philia was about a close comradely connection that grew between brothers in arms who had fought alongside one another on the battlefield.
It was all about being loyal to your friends, making sacrifices for them, and sharing your feelings with them.
(Another type of philia, known as storge, represented the love between parents and children.)
We can all reflect on how much comradely philia we have in our lives.
It's an important question in an age when we try to gather "friends" on Facebook or "following" on Twitter—achievements that would have impressed the Greeks hardly at all.
3. Ludus, or playful love
The Greeks coined the term "playful love" to describe the affection shared by children or young lovers.
We've all gotten a taste of it in the early stages of a relationship when it comes to flirting and teasing.
However, we can also express our ludus by sitting in a bar with friends and bantering and joking, or by going out dancing.
Dancing with strangers could be the pinnacle of ludic entertainment, a lighthearted substitute for sex.
Adult frivolity may be frowned upon by social norms, yet a bit more ludus can be precisely what we need to spice up our love life.
4. Agape, or love for everyone
Agape, or selfless love, was the fourth and possibly most radical love.
This was a love that you showed to everyone, whether they were family members or strangers.
Later, agape was translated into Latin as caritas, which is where the term "charity" comes from.
"Gift love," as C.S. Lewis put it, is the highest kind of Christian love.
It also exists in various religious traditions, such as Theravda Buddhism's mett, or "universal loving compassion."
In many countries, there is mounting evidence that agape is on the decline.
Empathy levels in the United States have plummeted during the last 40 years, with the most dramatic drop coming in the last decade.
We urgently need to revive our capacity to care about strangers.
5. Pragma, or longstanding love
Another type of Greek love was pragma, or mature love.
This was the profound understanding that long-married couples established.
Pragma was about making compromises and displaying patience and tolerance in order to help the partnership work over time.
We spend too much energy "falling in love," according to psychiatrist Erich Fromm, and need to learn more about how to "stand in love."
Pragma is all about standing in love, about trying to offer love rather than merely receiving it.
With over a third of first marriages in the United States ending in divorce or separation within the first ten years, the Greeks would certainly think we should inject some pragma into our relationships.
6. Philautia, or love of the self
Philautia, or self-love, was the Greeks' sixth type of love.
And the astute Greeks recognized two distinct types.
One was a type of narcissism that was pathological, in which you become self-absorbed and obsessed with personal fame and money.
Your greater capacity to love was strengthened by a healthier version.
The idea was that if you enjoy yourself and are confident in yourself, you will have plenty of love to give to others (as the Buddhist concept of "self-compassion" suggests).
"All friendly feelings for others are an extension of a man's feelings for himself," Aristotle said.
Friends, relatives, spouses, strangers, and even themselves were all sources of love for the ancient Greeks.
This is in contrast to our traditional concentration on a single romantic connection, in which we seek to find all of our various loves wrapped up in a single person or soul mate.
The Greeks' teaching is to cultivate the different forms of love and to tap into its diverse sources.
Not only should you seek eros, but you should also grow philia by spending more time with old friends and developing ludus by dancing the night away.
Furthermore, we must let go of our fixation with perfection.
Expect your partner to not provide you with all of the different types of love all of the time (with the danger that you may toss aside a partner who fails to live up to your desires).
Recognize that a relationship may begin with a lot of eros and ludus, then shift to more pragma or agape as time goes on.
The complex Greek love system can often be comforting.
Even if you don't have a physical partner, mapping out the amount to which all six loves are present in your life may reveal that you have a lot more love than you ever anticipated.
It's past time we included the six types of Greek love into our everyday language and thought.
Why not the art of love, if the art of coffee deserves its own nuanced vocabulary?
